Back on Memorial Day, I went to the Veterans Cemetery. I'm driving back and randomly decide to put down both windows. I look into the rear-view and there's a bee near the hatchback window. I'm not only terrified of bees, I'm allergic. But there was nowhere to pull over. It was a very thin, 2 lane backroad. So I kept watching it, adrenaline going OFF. Because what in the hell would happen if this bee flew into the front of the car or anywhere near me? A few agonizing minutes later, I finally pulled off the road into some brush, got out and opened the hatchback. I actually TOLD the bee, "Go on, now." and sure enough it just flew right out and away from me.
I was all about that bee story. That's ~nature saving my life. That's ~divine intervention.
Yesterday, my umpeenth hour of thinking, worrying, obsessing over this work/vacation thing... I'm driving home and a song comes on and I'm rocking out, not really paying attention because OMG PROBLEMS. I don't remember which one it was but a particular lyric struck me. It might've been about beauty around us or something. It caused me to look up and notice this stunning huge bright white bird flying overhead. And as I took that moment to appreciate it... it sprayed shit all over my car. I mean. It was like a sprinkler. So gross.
Now that's funny to me. Nature/The Way Things Are just do whatever the fuck it wants without my say-so. Shit's gonna happen anyway, so I might as well laugh it off and enjoy myself. If I take the bee situation as divine intervention, then perhaps this bird shitting on my car precisely when I feel inspired to appreciate it, is too.
That was the conclusion I reached at that point and it lasted for a few hours. And now I'm back to being miserable. And in its own fucked-up way, that's okay too. It is what it is.
Maybe life is just glimpses of awareness. But everything changes.
This too, shall pass.
Appreciate the shit.
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